My relationship with Pilates
By Connect Health and Fitness - April/2017
Jan. 2012
It all started just after hitting 40. I was always a very healthy and happy person, never had any major health problems. One day sweeping the floor I got this horrible sharp pain on my back that lasted for 3 weeks.
I went to the doctor and he told me to do Pilates, but I went for yoga classes instead, which I felt in love at the time and still love it. I also went for Pole Dance, Antigravity yoga and Aerial Hoop classes. And why not few races along the way including a half marathon? I did anything BUT Pilates.
Thinking that my sore back was due to me being overweight, I decided to go on a raw food diet for a year, which I absolutely loved, except I did not eat properly and my diet missed a lot of important nutrients.
I had lots of infections through the year and one nasty ear polyp that would not heal for 3 months. The doctor was considering an ear surgery to remove the tumour as the steroids injections in the ear canal were not working. It was awful as I could not hear properly. I had lots of panic attacks during that period.
So after a year I decided to eat cooked food and meat again. I was devastated as although I had health problems, I felt amazing with the raw food diet. Full of energy, happy and alive. But I was very scared as all my blood tests were showing a lot of lack of vitamins. To this date, I am still not sure if it was my diet or a coincidence.
The meat diet tasted awful. After one year eating fresh food and then suddenly have to eat animals again it felt like eating rotten food. During the raw food diet, I lost weight and when I started eating meat, I gain weight again.
Although I can see now that I was not overweight, at that moment in my life I thought that I was huge.
So it was Christmas when my family put lots of pressure on me to eat meat again and I started my old diet.
Above photos before the raw food diet and below during it
Jan. 2013
After I changed my diet, it was all going well, the immune system got better and the infections stopped, my blood counts went back to normal. I continued with all my exercises classes as normal, but after 18 months I had another sore back episode (Aug. 13) that took 3 weeks to get better. I was not able to work or even dress myself. It was very frustrating.
Within 4 months of my sore back episode, I had a major surgery, which I must say I delayed it for 11 years as I never had the courage to do it. But at this point I was totally ready for it.
I must add that the yoga classes with Suzanne (from yoga4all) and Nadia (from Yoganamara) helped me a lot. The deep breathing technique applied in yoga did help me before the surgery to keep me very calm and during my recovery afterwards.
Also because of their yoga classes it took 18 months for my back to get sore again.
If it was not for them, I think I would have got it sooner. So many thanks to these two amazing teachers.
Unfortunately, my surgery did not go as planned and after 3 hours surgery the consultant woke me up to only realise that I always having an internal bleeding. So I needed an emergency surgery and a blood transfusion. So after another 3 hours surgery, my heart rate would not go back to normal and my body was not accepting the transfusion too well. So intensive care for a while and 7 days in hospital. Thank you for all the hospital team that saved my life and the nurses and carers that were lovely to me.
At this point in my life I was still very positive and happy. I had to stop all exercise classes and running to recover for my surgery. I don't know how but I bit all the emotional scars of the surgery and kept going. For 3 months during recovery I was so weak that I could only stay awake for 1 hour or maximum 2 before I had to go to sleep. I could not walk 100 meters without being out of breath and have to sit down. Yet, mentally I was OK. I wanted to go back to work, to my classes to my normal life.
Just few days after the surgery. I don't know how, but I was really in good spirit.
Home from hospital. Got ready for my family to spend Christmas with me.
Jan. 2015
Since 2014 I had no sore back episode, I will just go straight to 2015.
So 18 months later after my last episode of back pain I had a horrible one, however this time it lasted 4 months. I was 4 months off work, while spending lots of money with doctors, MRI scans, X-rays, painkillers, no sleep and frustration of knowing what was wrong.
But this time my wonderful new doctor (Barbara Byrnes Primacare – Applewood) and my Physiotherapist (Ann Marie Ennis - Swords) advised me to have a holistic approach to my body. They both told me to do Pilates. I know I was told this in 2012, but at this point I was convinced that having a holistic approach to the problem was the best option. They were very kind and I thank them for their wonderful advised.
I could not do much, I needed help to get dressed, could not stand for long time, I could not function properly. My physical body was not the best, but at this stage I kept positive and decided to do a Pilates teaching course.
So I enrolled myself on a course with the NTC and had this amazing teachers. I could not have chosen a better place to do my course. These tutors Noeleen Gregory, Janette Penney & Maeve Carroll (trained with Michael King and Alan Herdman) did not just deliver a Pilates teaching training. They were inspiring, passionate about their jobs and highly qualified. They would actually take the time to teach you, correct you and the same time motivate you. So thank to these wonderful ladies.
So that is now when my relationship with Pilates start. I remember going to my first class with lot of pain and could not walk straight. For years, I would go from a sitting position to a stand position without being able to straight up my back. The course was from 9 am to 5 pm and I remember being so uncomfortable being siting down for the lectures. The good times were when we practice Pilates during classes.
But my very first day of my course I remember calling my partner at lunch time to say that I could walk up straight again. I could not believe it. All these years with pain killers, numb and tingling leg, back spasms I finally found the solution for my problem?
It was all down to a weak core, due to lordosis (too much curve on my lower back) and all the muscle imbalances that comes with it combined with Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI). So simple. So I kept working full time in 2015 and doing Pilates and a bit of swimming, no other types of exercises.
Jan. 2016
So it all got better, but I still did not take full responsibility for my health, so in Feb. 2016 I got another nasty sore back episode. But this time it got so bad that even breathing would hurt, which made me so tense, hence a vicious cycle. Not even strong medication would make me better, I could not feel my right leg, it was numb and tingling. So I had to go to the emergency doctor and he told me if I did not take responsibility for my health I would end up in a wheel chair. What he said really shocked me.
After 4 months off work, I had to give up my job. A job that I loved so much. I loved everything about it, the people, what I did and my routine.
Then suddenly my mental health was affected. For the first time in my life I felt very low, I did not want to live anymore, I did not feel like to eat, to shower, to talk or see people or to do anything. Nothing was exciting anymore. It did not cross my mind to do anything stupid, but I did not have the excitement for life anymore.
Every night I was having horrible panic attacks. I had no hope. I withdraw myself from my friends, that I love so much. And I do not know how they put up with me. I was really not nice to them, however I am very lucky to have them around. Thank you, you know who you are and I love you all very much.
I will not deny that it was a long process to get out of that black whole. I could not understand how I did not feel great? I was not hungry, homeless, cold, or even terribly ill. I actually felt guilty for feeling that way.
My purpose of life was to help people and when I had to give up my job, I lost my purpose. It felt horrible. But then I decided to teach Pilates (it was a forced decision and I must confess I was not excited about it as at that point I did not know my responsibilities yet).
I knew Pilates was good for me and I kind of learn how to ‘fix’ my body with the exercises. But I had no passion to be a Pilates teacher until I realise that I could help people. It was then, that it hit me that there could be a lot of people out there in pain like I was before that needed help.
I dived in very deep. I started teaching and fell in love. I love all my clients and really love to help them.
Pilates helped me not only physically and mentally but on the spirit side as well.
I knew that the exercises helped me with my pain, I am still not 100% where I want to be, there are things that I can’t do yet, but I have high hopes that this will change.
Mentally, I can’t stress out enough how great I feel after a class. This amazing feeling of happiness, gratitude, in peace, satisfied with life. Do I need to mention that the panic attacks are much less and lower intensity? I rarely have them now.
Just to finish my relationship with Pilates, I feel a huge gratitude in my heart for this man that helped so many people, Joseph Pilates. (I actually have tears in my eyes) and feel privileged that I now can help people too.
A huge thank you for all the people that have been in my life in the past 5 years as you know my journey and all of you have helped me and contributed to my present moment.
I feel much stronger now. I have more body awareness, so I know what my body can or can’t do at the moment all thanks to Pilates.
I am also grateful for all the bad things that happened to me, as they did lead me to this wonderful path in my life - Pilates.
Thank you for reading,
Lots of love & Peace
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